


Tarine Tea and Lambro Shark

by armitageren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anxiety, Bite, Blow Jobs, Comfort, Cool Trans Technology, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deep throat, Falling In Love, First Dates, Gender Dysphoria, Hotel Sex, Kylo Ren Forgets Dinner Etiquette, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Child Abuse, Post TLJ, Short Flashback to Child Abuse, Soft Kylux, Some Scenes of Dysphoria, Trans, Trans Armitage Hux, Trans Character, Trans Kylo Ren, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Virgin Hux, also, and, at least it's mostly soft kylux, dinner date, loving relationship, they do like to, uptight hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-03-20 06:54:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13712295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armitageren/pseuds/armitageren
Summary: The First Order celebrates a recent victory on a luxurious planet and it's the perfect setting for Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux's first date. Hux struggles to survive the date with his anxiety putting him on edge because Ren doesn't know he's trans and he isn't sure what that means for their future.(I'm trans and I wanted to contribute a trans Kylux fic that represents my viewpoint)





	1. Chapter 1

 

**The First Date**

 

Drops of tarine tea splattered onto the pure white table covering.

“You okay there?” asked Kylo Ren. He pulled the napkin from his lap and bent over the table to wipe up spots of tea.

Armitage Hux’s fingers continued shaking as he adjusted the cup. His eyes lingered on Ren’s shoulders as he watched Ren clean up his mess.

“I can’t believe you like that stuff,” said Ren as he set the soaked napkin onto his side of the table. He raised his glass of water to his lips.

“Yes,” Hux said weakly. His eyes darted to the side as he realized how awkward he sounded. He sat up. “Excuse me.”

Ren waited patiently with his full plate of food. He didn’t feel right starting the meal without Hux. Meanwhile, Hux paced back and forth in the elaborately stone covered bathroom replaying in his head every detail of the situation before him. Issue number one, issue number two, issue number three, issue number four, five, ten. He could think of ten issues. He stopped to look at himself in the mirror. He took a comb out of his pocket and adjusted his hair.

“You look good,” he said to himself, “And you don’t have to go to bed with him tonight. You don’t have to deal with this tonight. You can deal with it later. In your own time.”

Hux returned to the table.

“Ready?” asked Ren. He was eager with a smile on his face and utensils in his hands.

“Well,” said Hux, “I think I got some of the tea on my plate...that’s unfortunate.” His hands were still shaking as he picked up the utensils. “Uh, yes...ready.”

With the exception of Hux’s anxiety causing him minor nausea, the meal went smoothly. He powered through it. Ren seemed to be enjoying himself. He was less sour than usual. Even cheerful. Hux realized he was seeing another side of Ren.

After their meal, they waded through the ruckus of the casino, passing through elegantly dressed groups of humans, aliens, droids, the occasional group of First Order officers, dancing ladies, and dancing men. People paid respects as they passed. Hux felt overwhelmed by the commotion. At some point he placed his hand on Ren’s shoulder and leaned in to whisper that they should find somewhere more private. Ren nodded. They found their way to a private corridor.

 

First they discussed the accommodations on the planet and how thankful they were that the First Order gained possession of such wealth.

Hux nervously chuckled before he spoke. “Speaking of thanks, I’m thankful for how things changed between us. It wasn’t too long ago that I was trying to come up with ways to get rid of you.”

“Likewise,” Ren responded. “But I always had a thing for you. Those times when you’d barge in on me and Snoke to tattle on me? I loved it. I thought I couldn’t stand you but I had an urge to hear you say my name, to talk about me.” Ren turned away and covered his face with his palm. “Oh no, I shouldn’t have told you that. So embarrassing.”

“No, no.” Hux grabbed Ren’s wrist and pulled it from his face. “I get it.”

Ren looked at Hux. He could feel Hux’s quivering grip on his wrist. He’d sensed Hux’s anxiety all night and discovered he was, somehow, absorbing the anxiety himself. His stomach felt heavy and he was full of dread but, when he looked into the soothingly icy color of Hux’s eyes, he found relief. He leaned in, taking Hux into his arms, and kissed him softly.

Hux let his hands seize Ren’s face and found the strength to kiss him back with force. The kiss became his only focus, causing his unease to escape him.

Ren soon matched him in passion, letting his tongue slip into Hux’s mouth and Hux let his tongue intertwine with Ren’s as he tousled the waves of Ren’s hair. Ren pulled away to admire Hux and Hux closed the gap with a bite at Ren’s lower lip. Ren unexpectedly giggled and reciprocated with his own bite to Hux’s lip. Then their lips met again for a series of loving, chaste kisses. Ren ran his hands along Hux’s back and then slipped his hands under Hux’s uniform and began moving them upward.

Hux pushed Ren away. “Wait.”

“Yeah, we should probably go somewhere private.”

Hux shook his head. “No, no...that’s the opposite of what I was thinking.”

“What's wrong?” Ren held Hux’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I guess it’s time to tell you,” said Hux. He couldn’t look Ren in the eyes.

“Go ahead,” Ren spoke gently.

“I’m trans.” Hux paused to see if Ren would say anything but Ren seemed he expected Hux to continue. “I haven’t had any surgery. Only the H.D.S.” He managed to glance at Ren’s face and found his shocked expression.

  

“Oh my...”

“I had a feeling you wouldn’t take it well. You were expecting something different.” Hux pulled his hand from Ren’s grasp.

Ren tried to hold Hux’s hand again. “No. This is an amazing coincidence.”

“What?”

“I’m trans too,” said Ren, gleefully.

“What??”

“Yeah. I transitioned when I was 14.”

“You’re not joking, are you?” Hux let him hold his hand again.

“Come here,” said Ren as he pulled Hux in for a hug. “There’s nothing to worry about at all.”

Hux was initially overjoyed to join Ren in his room that night but felt his joy melting into anxiety once he entered the room. Ren led him to a wall-sized window to gaze at a fireworks show being held in the distance. Yellow and red sparks mingled in the air and left ghostly trails of smoke. Ren always enjoyed the trails of smoke more than the bursts of colored light. Hux could barely concentrate on the show as his mind raced with ideas of what would happen between himself and Ren.

When the show ended, Ren announced he was getting ready for the night.

“Are you tired?” asked Hux.

“No. But I want to get into something more comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

Hux took the moment to loosen his collar and remove his boots. He kept the rest on as he sat in a chair facing the window. He saw a crowd of people in the distance, swaying, some of them tumbling over each other in a drunken reverie. He always wished he could be that loose but he’d spent his life feeling so...inside of himself, wrapped up in anxiety, fury, the greed for power disguising his vulnerability. He hated feeling out of control. He hated feeling small. Now he felt happy. Yet small. Uncomfortable. Jealous. Jealous of Ren. Again.

Ren returned to the bedroom with a long-sleeved flowing black robe tied around his waist. “Do you want anything to drink?” he asked.

 

“No.”

“Do you want a robe? I have another one. Oh, and there’s the one they provided with the room.” Ren walked to a cabinet and pulled out a brown and gold robe.

“I’m fine.”

Ren gave a knowing look and a slight nod. “I know what’s happening here. You’re getting weird and you don’t want me to see your body, even though I’ve been through the same thing as you, you think I’m going to care that…”

“No, Ren. I like being in my uniform. I am comfortable in my uniform right now.”

“Look, I don’t think anyone needs to have surgery to be a man. I don’t think anyone needs to get H.D.S. to be a man either. I’m not one of those people and if you think, because I’ve been stealth all these years, that I don’t understand what you’re going through...”

Hux groaned and shook his head. “No, no...no...yes.”

“What?” Ren shouted the question with his arms up in the air.

“I’m jealous of you.” The muscles in Hux’s face strained as he fought to hold back tears. “Personally, I don’t want to be in my situation now. I want to have the surgeries but I have a medical procedure phobia that’s prevented me from having anything I want. I could do H.D.S. but I can’t do anything else. The people my age who haven’t had surgery are either nonbinary, you know, or they’re people who are comfortable with themselves. But I’m not. I want what you have.” He couldn’t hold back the tears. He covered his face with his hands and soon he was hyperventilating.

Ren came close to him and, from the back, wrapped his arms around Hux. “It’s okay,” he said.

When Hux recovered his composure, he sat up straight. “I’ll return to my room.”

“We don’t have to talk or do anything. You could stay here and I could hold you all night, if you want.” Ren was then in front of Hux and holding out his arms.

“No, sorry,” said Hux. Hux got up and hurried out of the room.

Ren stood watching as the door slammed shut after Hux. He turned around to the window and saw the crowd of people. The smiles on their faces felt like a mockery. Using the force, he threw down the blinds.


	2. The Second Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the second date be more successful?

Hux picked up his cup of tarine tea. “I promise I won’t spill it this time.”

“You better not,” said Ren as he picked up his cup of ice water. He glanced into the cup and noticed the ice was comprised of different shapes. “Hey, look at this ice.” He tilted the cup so that Hux could see.

Hux had a slight frown. “That’s weird ice,” he said.

“Yeah, it’s weird.” Ren smiled at Hux’s serious reaction to the ice. In time, their food was served. Hux ordered the same as last time but Ren decided to try something new. He noticed Hux was eyeing his plate. “You want to try it?”

“Maybe..is it good?”

“Here.” Ren stabbed a bit of the lambro shark steak with his fork and then held it to Hux.

Hux tried to wave it away. “I’ve had it before, of course, but I don’t know if this restaurant would do it justice.”

“Don’t be pretentious. Come on, have a bite.”

“I’m not going to lean over and bite it off of your fork.” Hux’s voice turned to a whisper. “In front of all these people.”

“Take my fork with your hand, then,” said Ren, “Grab my fork, come on.” He leaned over the table and held the fork closer to Hux.

Hux’s face was turning ruddy in his extreme embarrassment and, though he hesitated, he finally took the fork to stop Ren from continuing the scene. He chewed on the shark meat, faintly raised his eyebrows, and declared, “Actually, it’s quite good.”

“That’s why I made you taste it.”

“You could have told me it was amazing and then, if I requested, neatly passed the meat onto the edge of my plate…” Hux stopped talking when he noticed Ren’s amused facial expression.

“You’re adorable when you’re uptight,” said Ren.

“Thank you,” said Hux, finally smiling.

They decided they had room for dessert so they planned to split a dish of Tranna nugget cream covered cake. It arrived shortly. Ren scooted his chair closer to Hux. Hux was caught off guard. He expected that they would slice the cake in half and have it transferred to their dessert plates rather than sit next to each other picking at the same serving dish with their forks. But he restrained himself from protesting.

Ren quickly filled his mouth with the cake. Hux took a small bite, chewed it slowly, and then swallowed it. As he let Ren continue to dig in, he said, “I want to tell you...I’m feeling a lot better this time.”

Ren moaned a little through his closed mouth, indicating he wanted to speak but had too much of the cake filling his cheeks. Hux, though horrified by Ren’s lack of manners, couldn’t help finding him cute and finding himself amazed by this newfound association of Kylo Ren with the concept of cute. It would have never occurred to him months ago.

Finally Ren spoke. “That’s great. Oh, go ahead. Have some more of the cake. I’m gonna slow down with it.”

Hux took another small bite onto his fork.

“You wanna...come back to my room again?” Ren set down his fork as he asked the question.

Hux was in the middle of chewing but hurriedly gulped. “Yeah, yes...yes I do. Very much.”

“Good,” said Ren. He plunged his fork down for another hefty piece of cake.

A half hour later, they’d returned to Ren’s room. As Hux stood awkwardly near the entrance, Ren searched through a nearby cabinet. “I’ve been out of focus since we got to this planet. I haven’t meditated. I’ve barely looked at my saber. It’s on me nearly all the time but feels strangely like an accessory.” He paused. "Don't worry. I still want to destroy the resistance. Not that you'd be worried that I...wouldn't want that. Because I do want to. Destroy them all."

“Hm.” Hux didn’t know how to respond.

“Ah, here it is.” Ren pulled out a deep red robe, similar in style to the black one he’d worn but a shorter cut. “I think this suits you. In case you want to stay the night.”

“I should have gone back to my room and returned with my own.”

“I heard from Phasma that your robe is...well, I think this one would be great on you. You can keep it if you like it.”

“How in the galaxy did my robe come up in conversation with Phasma?” Hux took the robe from Ren but held it in one hand down at his side.

“It was a while ago. I said, ‘I bet he wears his uniform to sleep’ about you. She and some troopers laughed about it. That’s when I had my mask so I was doing the voice when I said it and I don't think they expected me to crack a joke. She said I was wrong and that you probably don’t sleep in it but you do have a robe. She said it’s the ‘uniform of robes’, though...don’t remember how she put it.”

Hux sighed amusedly. “You know, apart from a few medical officers, she’s the only person who knew that I’m trans.”

“Do you remember that guy...Captain Evalo?”

“Barely. He died on Starkiller Base, didn’t he?”

“He knew me when I was still known as Jobal Solo. But he had run off to the Unknown Regions before I was named Ben Solo.” Ren removed his cape as he explained.

“Really? He never mentioned anything.”

Ren shook his head. “He wouldn’t.”

“You didn’t choose your name? I mean, the name you had before you joined Snoke?”

“No. Skywalker chose it. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about that. I’ll get into my robe now.” Ren disappeared into the changing room after that.

Hux set the red robe onto a chair. He stepped to the large window and peeked through the blinds. There was no crowd. Only the stillness of night and a faint blue light in the distance, piercing through the dark clouds. Silhouettes of overgrown trees tossed in the wind. Hux remembered when he first came out to his father. A painful remembrance. His father wanted him to be a simple case. He remembered, in between beatings, his father asked him, “What do you want me to do?” Then his father said, “If you can’t go through with the procedures you want, you are silly. You are weak. You are a weak boy. You are barely a boy.” Those words echoed in the back of his mind for years. “You are barely a boy.” No matter how much he thought he’d proved his father wrong, he couldn’t get those words out of his head. He hated that he could still replicate the sound of his father’s voice in his mind. Memories are supposed to fade with time. Why wouldn’t those words fade?

Ren stepped into the room. “Here I am,” he announced.

“I don’t want to hear about your past,” said Hux, still peeking through the window’s blinds.

“I already said I don’t want to talk about it,” said Ren, “At least, not now. I want to have a good time with you. Makeout...relax.” Ren sat on his bed. Hux turned back and looked at him. He patted the bed with his hand. “Come over here.”

With his arms held tightly behind his back, Hux walked over to the bed. He released his arms to lift up the plush covers, inspecting the sheets underneath. He dropped the cover and finally sat cross legged on top of it.

Ren inched closer and leaned over to give Hux a kiss on the cheek. Hux reached for Ren’s cheek and kissed him back, moving to his lips and then kissing them lustfully. He reached to pin down Ren’s arms, throwing Ren’s back against the bed as the kiss continued. Hux let go of the right arm and moved his hand to feel Ren’s sculpted shoulders and then his chest. He pushed the robe off to reveal more of Ren’s skin. He kissed his way down Ren’s neck, then his shoulders, and finally to his smooth and unblemished chest and down his strong abdominal muscles. Hux then sighed and collapsed onto Ren’s chest with his arms held tightly at Ren’s sides.

Ren held the back of Hux's head with the palm of his hand. As Hux breathed onto his belly, leaving a misty spot, he used his fingers to his hair into a tangled ginger mess. Hux's breathing became heavier. “Are you falling asleep now?” asked Ren.

“No,” said Hux, “I’m overwhelmed with jealousy again. I can’t look at you.”

“I know you aren’t happy with where you’re at but, when I look at you, you’re the most handsome guy I’ve ever seen. Your face, your body, your gorgeous always perfect hair.”

Hux rolled himself off of Ren and placed his face into a pillow. His voice was muffled. “You haven’t seen me naked.”

“If you want to pout for a while, go ahead. I understand. But will you let me hug you while you pout?”

“Yes.” Hux let the pillow loose from his grip and took in a deep breath.

Ren held Hux for so long that they both drifted into sleep. In the middle of the night, Hux awoke, overheating and sweating. He walked over to the chair and looked at the robe. Then he looked back at Ren to make sure he was still sleeping. He was. So, Hux removed his uniform and folded the pieces neatly. He kept on his underwear but wrapped the robe around himself and tied it tightly. He fanned himself with his hand and headed back to the bed. He tried to get on without making a sound but the foundation creaked and sent Ren stirring. Hux held his breath but Ren’s eyes didn’t open so he let it out again.

A minute later, Ren yawned and stretched out his arms. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know.”

Ren threw an arm over Hux’s waist. “I told you the robe would be nice on you.”

“Yeah.” Hux shifted away but Ren kissed at his neck from behind. Hux laughed. “No, that tickles.”

“Turn around.”

Hux turned around and was pulled into a kiss. They took turns kissing each other, touching each other’s faces, shoulders, backs. Ren pressed himself closer to Hux and grinded into him. Hux could feel Ren’s erection pressing against his thigh. He reached down and rubbed Ren’s cock over the fabric that covered it.

“That’s a nice thick cock,” said Hux.

“Thanks.”

“May I look?”

“Do it.”

Hux lifted up the robe to reveal Ren’s perfectly sculpted mechno-penis* above an equally ideal set of balls. The penis was a shade or two darker and a little redder than his skin color, probably to appear realistic while erect. Hux stroked it and further noted, in his mind, the realism of the foreskin. The realism was no shock to him, as he had been shown mechno-penises in the past while discussing the possibility of procedures with doctors, but he had to regard Ren’s penis with admiration and excitement.

“That feels good.” Ren moaned a little with every stroke.

Hux began to feel nervous as he had no clue how far they were going. He’d casually given handjobs and blowjobs in the past but nothing beyond that and he’d never let anyone perform acts on him. He tried to push the anxiety to the back of his mind and enjoy the moment as he positioned himself to suck on Ren’s dick. He swirled his tongue around the head and then he took it deep into his mouth and worked his way up and down.

The pleasing wetness of Hux’s mouth and the intense suction made Ren bite his lip in frustration of how amazing it felt. “Fuck, that’s good.”

Hux kept going with his hand gripped on the base of Ren’s cock. He then took in the cock as deep as he could without gagging. Ren could feel his tip hit the back of Hux’s throat but then Hux let Ren out of his mouth and took a gasping breath. He was going in for another round when Ren stopped him.

“Wait. I don’t want to come yet. If you keep doing that, I’m going to come so quick.”

“What do you want?”

Ren threw back a question. “Is there anything else you want...to do?”

“Honestly…” Hux took his hand off of Ren’s dick.

“Be honest.”

“I wish I could fuck you...but I can’t.”

“Do you have a strap on or a snap on** in your room or anything?”

Hux gazed down at the bed covers. “No, I...I don’t have sex. I...used to have one, you know, for myself...to try on...but I got rid of it.”

“Damn, I wish I had one around here.”

“Yeah.”

“We can get one tomorrow. Come on, this is exciting.” He nudged Hux’s arm. “You’ve never had sex?”

“No, never, you would be my first.” Hux looked at Ren again. They focused on each other’s eyes and smiled.

“Would you be up for being fucked now? Or no?”

“Sorry, no. I mean, maybe another time.”

“That’s fine, okay, you can suck again.” Ren’s cock was still hard. Mechno-penises seemed to work more reliably than other penises, easily maintaining rigidity in sexual situations.

Hux took Ren’s cock and bent over again. He lightly licked and kissed around it, to show his affection, before he returned to sucking it with a strong and rhythmic movement. He could hear Ren’s breathing deepening and he delighted in the uninhibited moans that escaped him. Hux moaned around Ren’s cock as he sucked. It sent Ren over the edge, slightly rotating his groin and clutching at Hux’s hair in desperation.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m going to cum,” he said as he felt the intensity within himself about to release. He came into Hux’s mouth. Hux was surprised by the slightly salty but not unpleasant taste of the cum as it filled his mouth, so much that he struggled to swallow it all and, when Ren pulled out, it dribbled down his chin. He licked his lips and Ren reached his hand to wipe the cum off his chin.

“Have you tasted it?” asked Hux, “It’s not bad.”

“That’s why I don’t mind kissing you after,” said Ren. He kissed Hux on the lips and then slipped in some tongue.

When the kiss was over, Hux held Ren in his arms as they leaned against the pillows. “I hope you would kiss me after in any case. Even if you had bad cum. I like being kissed after.”

“I was joking. Of course I would kiss you after.” Ren grabbed Hux’s wrist and gave it little kisses.

In a short while, they fell asleep. Hux didn’t remember his dreams that night but he woke with the feeling that his unconscious had traveled to a hopeful place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * I could write an essay about how the mechno-penis works but I don't have the time.  
> ** A snap on is the more advanced version of a strap on. It attaches comfortably to the crotch area without the need of straps. For trans men, it will interact with the (clitoris or whatever you like to call it) using biomechanical interactions to transfer the sensations read by the snap on to the (clitoral) structure. They come in varieties with or without attached balls which may or may not aid in the ejaculation system, depending on the price level. 
> 
> (parenthesis around those terms because I know there are disagreements over terminology and language. I'm using the terminology that I'm fine with but I understand that isn't the case for everyone)
> 
> ~  
> This was another quick write, tbh  
> ~
> 
> I'm not sure when because I'll be busy this weekend and through next week but I plan to update this.


	3. The Third Date

Hux stood with his back to the cliff’s edge, his arms outstretched left and right. A freezing wind blew from behind to billow his coat and dishevel his hair. The wind blew Ren’s scarf over half of his face. He held it down with one hand as he stepped closer to the cliff’s edge.

The sky, and the trees below, were a stark grey but the clouds and the tree limbs were wispy, twisted, foreboding. Hux peered back and gazed at the tree limbs' sharp ends.

Ren held his arm in position, pointed at Hux. “I will catch you.”

Hux looked forward and closed his eyes. “Okay, here I go.” 

He walked backwards. One step, he was still on the edge. The next step, there was nothing to support him. He fell back and didn’t fight gravity’s grasp. The lack of stability sent a shock of adrenaline emanating from the depths of his chest. He held his breath without thinking. The sound of the wind grew deafening and it beat like an icy shard against his hands. His eyes focused on Ren’s figure leaning over the cliff’s edge, quickly shrinking to a spot. He saw the figure move.

His limbs convulsed upon coming to a stop. He could feel the strength holding him in place and then lifting him up. His head turned to see how close he made it to the ground. He was inches from a tree’s barbed branches and watched as the inches grew into feet.

He looked upward to see Ren’s face coming into view. Ren pulled Hux’s body over the edge, let him go with the force, and grabbed Hux in his arms to carry him.

“Put me down,” said Hux.

“Want to do it again?” Ren set him down and they both sat cross-legged, cushioned by the thick grass.

Hux chuckled. “Later, yeah. Not now.” He picked a fistful of the grass and tossed the shards in the air. They both watched the shards become carried by the wind. “It was fun but...”

“It scared you,” said Ren, "The thought that one of those branches could've impaled you."

“No, no, it didn’t scare me. I knew you would bring me back up.” Hux tore another fistful and tossed it.

Ren plucked a single blade of grass. He bent it in half, then in half again. Then he dropped it to the ground. “You looked a little scared.”

“No,” said Hux. He picked up Ren’s folded grass blade and unraveled it. “Hm...if I were the force sensitive one and you weren’t, would you trust me to do that?”

“Of course. Why would you ask that?” Ren grabbed the blade from Hux’s hand. He tore it in half. He set one half on Hux’s knee. "Maybe not before but, now, yes."

“What will you do with the other piece?” Hux tapped the torn grass on his knee with his finger and held it in place so it wouldn’t be blown away.

“Eat it.” Ren brought the grass to his lips.

“It could be poisonous! Don’t.” Hux lunged forward, ripped the blade from Ren’s fingers, and tossed it upward.

Ren moved closer and kissed Hux on the cheek. “I was joking.”

Hux kissed Ren back but on the lips. Three times in a row. He paused. “I don’t like jokes about eating strange grass.”

They remained on the cliff’s edge, occasionally exchanging kisses, and other times staring into the cloudy sky listening to the hum of the occasional ship passing over them. Once in a while they threw fistfuls of grass at each other when they thought the other least expected it. Some of the blades were thick and sticky and got caught on their clothing. Ren was better at that game than Hux. Hux took care to pick the grass off of his coat.

“What’s that cloud shaped like?” asked Hux, glancing to the sky as he swiped his coat clean with one hand.

“Looks like…”

Behind his back, with the other hand, Hux plucked some grass from the ground and rushed to throw it at Ren’s face.

Ren caught Hux’s wrist, on the section of exposed skin between his glove and his coat, then playfully forced open his fingers, and released the grass to the ground. “For the last time, you can’t get me with that!”

“I’ll do it.” Hux got on top of Ren, straddled him, and pinned his arms against the ground. “I will get you.” He released one arm, though he firmly pressed down the other, and used his free hand to pick more grass. He let the grass fall onto Ren’s face.

Ren blew away the grass that fell upon his mouth. Again, he grabbed Hux’s free hand’s wrist and used it to pull him down and then put him into a light headlock. Hux elbowed him so he released but found himself again in Hux’s grasp. The wrestling continued until they were worn out and trying to catch their breaths. Hux removed his gloves, lifting finger by finger and pulling them off before tossing them to the side.

They rested on their sides, looking at each other, reaching to each other, kissing, and searching their eyes in between kisses. Hux’s hand wandered down Ren’s chest and continued downward. He rubbed Ren's crotch as they kissed. Ren’s hand wandered around Hux - but carefully, squeezing at his shoulder, running along his arm and side. He wanted so badly to touch Hux everywhere but sympathized with his discomfort. 

Hux’s hand then groped under Ren’s clothing. Hux’s fingers felt like icicles and made Ren’s skin twitch and break out into goosebumps.

“Sorry,” said Hux, “My hands turned cold so quickly.”

“Don’t worry. They'll warm up there.” Ren’s hand wandered down Hux’s back. He placed his fingers beneath the waistband of his pants but paused. “Is it okay if I only touch your ass?”

“Yeah, that's fine.” Hux stroked Ren's dick as he spoke.

Ren undid the top of Hux’s pants to loosen the band. He reached his hand back around and slid it under a soft grey cotton pair of underwear. He gripped a fistful of Hux’s cheek as he kissed and breathed upon Hux's neck. He let go of the cheek and slid his finger along the crack, searching for his hole. Ren felt his cock getting even harder with Hux's strokes and he kissed again at Hux’s neck eagerly. When he found Hux’s hole, he rubbed it gently with his finger. Hux reached his free arm around Ren in an embrace. Ren kissed his way back up to Hux’s mouth. He pulled away slightly after the kiss and they could feel the heat of their breaths warming their skin as they continued to touch each other.

"Oh no." Hux's cheeks were bright pink - from cold and bashfulness. "I'm so hard too. I can't stand it."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Suck me off, if...if." Hux hesitated. He stopped stroking Ren and took back his hand. He tugged at Ren's hand, causing Ren to pull it away, and then sat up finally crossing his arms. "I can't believe myself."

Ren held onto Hux's arm and rested his head on his shoulder. "What is it?"

"I worry, even though you've been through the same thing, you'll think...I'm being ridiculous."

Ren gave Hux's arm a squeeze. "I don't judge you at all."

"I used to attend a support group. It was a long, long time ago before I started H.D.S. and, anyway, there was a guy named Volen there and he was always making remarks on things I said, always being a loudmouth, especially when I said I was worried about procedures or had worries about my body. I later found out everyone agreed with him and nobody wanted me in the group. I stopped going."

"I would have threatened them for you if I were there, would've tossed Volen in the air and thrown him against the wall."

Hux smiled slightly. "Thanks...the point is, feeling rejected by what was supposed to be a group of 'my people'...it made me realize I'm not safe anywhere."

"I promise you. You're safe with me now. Besides, with me, you have a galaxy now. What does Volen have? What does Volen know? Nothing."

"Okay, so, if I let you suck me off, it's okay if I keep my eyes closed the whole time?" Hux still appeared uneasy.

"You do whatever you need to do." Ren kissed Hux on the cheek. "I just want to make you feel amazing." Ren started moving his hand toward Hux's groin. "May I?" Hux nodded. Ren tugged down Hux's pants a little and rubbed Hux over his underwear. He could feel him getting stiff. He slid his hand under the underwear. Hux closed his eyes and squeezed them shut when Ren's skin made contact with his.

"You had a lot of growth, wow," Ren blurted out then realized maybe he should have kept the thought to himself. He was so turned on by touching Hux, he couldn't wait to get his mouth on him.

"Oh, please, don't flatter me," said Hux. He leaned back against the ground and spread his legs a little and pulled down his underwear to expose himself. "Oh, just do it. I can't wait."

The wind cooled his skin and impacted his arousal but Ren worked quickly with his tongue and his mouth to warm him back up, enveloping him at first with his mouth to heat him up and then sucking delicately and then moving to a methodical rhythm on his cock. He held Hux's thighs with a steady grasp as he performed and paid close attention to Hux's reactions - his moans, his movements, his breathing, all becoming uninhibited by Ren's mouth.

Hux opened his eyes as he felt himself getting closer to orgasm. He was surprised - he took in the sight of Ren focused on his dick and found he was more aroused, but as the licking and sucking guided him closer to the edge, his eyes closed again, his senses overwhelmed by the pleasure down below.

Ren knew how close Hux was and sucked on him harder, causing all sensation down there to spike, lifting him to orgasm.

"Oh fuck!" Hux's shout formed a cloud of breath in the air. Ren remained licking and sucking, rubbing Hux's thighs as his contractions died down.

They both sat up when the orgasm was complete. Hux tried to pull up his underwear but was interrupted by a big hug and kiss.

Shortly after, Hux noticed something out of the corner of his eyes. He turned to face the patch of grass beside them. "Wait a minute...my gloves...where are my gloves?"

Ren joined him in searching the grass.

When they gave up searching, Ren promised Hux he'd buy him a new pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while to get this up. I had personal issues that delayed me in completing this chapter.


	4. The Fourth Date

Hux waited at the restaurant alone. He checked the time. Ren was 30 minutes late. It seemed the more he sat there that the restaurant’s other patrons were getting louder, laughing harder, becoming more irritating. Hux didn't want to see their smiles. “Why am I always the unhappy one in every place?” he thought, tugging on the tablecloth slightly with his left hand, noting the extreme stretch of its unusual fabric - he didn’t know what it was.

The waiter approached. “Sir, would you like to order?”

“No!” Hux snapped, startled as he hadn’t noticed the waiter’s approach. “I’m waiting for my guest.”

“If you could contact your guest and find out what they would like to order, we could…”

“Do you not know who I am? What is the rush? If all I want to do is sit at this table, I should not be questioned.” Hux maintained a disapproving scowl.

“Yes, general, sir, please forgive me. I was only trying to assist.”

“Away.”

When the waiter disappeared into the back room, Hux pulled out his comlink. “Ren? Ren, where are you? I’m about to leave.”

The comlink finally received a transmission - yet an indecipherable one. Hux accidentally dropped the comlink on the table but quickly snatched it up to contact one of Ren’s assistants. “I need Kylo Ren’s location...now.”

“I...don’t know his location. I’m sorry, sir.”

The waiter entered the room and, while he didn’t dare approach Hux’s table, he lingered at another table nearby. Hux turned away slightly with the comlink in hand, hunched over it. “When did you last see him?”

“He told me not to tell you anything about it.”

“What? What is it?” Hux deepened his hunch over his comlink.

“He said, if I told you, he would make me regret it.”

Hux couldn’t help raising his voice. “If you don’t tell me, I will make you regret it. You will regret it either way.” He then felt two fingers tapping at his back. He straightened his back and yelled, “I will have you imprisoned for your disrespect!”

“I am so sorry, sir, but I promised I wouldn’t…” The voice emitting from the comlink was cut short as the comlink was pulled from Hux’s hand - pulled with the use of the force.

Hux looked back and was relieved to see an uncharacteristically scruffy Kylo Ren: his hair was tangled, his boots were dirty, and he hadn’t shaved. Hux said to him, “I meant...the whole imprisonment thing for the waiter here. He’s been so rude and I thought you were him when you came up behind me like that.”

Ren nodded and spoke into the comlink that was now securely in his hand, “I appreciate your loyalty.” He handed it back to Hux.

“Where were you?” asked Hux.

“Since yesterday, I was searching for something and I didn’t rest until I found it.”

“What?”

Ren reached into one of his inner pockets and brought out...Hux’s gloves.

“Oh no, that is way too much effort for my silly gloves.” Hux took them and inspected them - he peeked inside and found the embroidered initials, written in aurebesh: Aurek, Herf, underneath the symbol of the First Order. “Where did you find them?”

“I thought they would be somewhere around where we left them...but it turns out that a peddler found them and took them, then sold them to a death sticks dealer, who then traded them with another dealer...who gave them to his brother, and then there was a Rodian who stole them from that guy. So, I got into a few heads, pushed a few people around, and I got them back for you.”

“It’s only been three days...and they aren’t worth all that. Well, they are nice gloves but...” Hux paused and smiled at Ren. “Well, you’re not the only one who came bearing a gift. I have a treat for you.” Hux called the waiter, who approached nervously.

“Yes, sir?”

“Please, now, bring over the item.”

When the waiter returned, he presented a bottle wrapped with a golden label. "A preserved bottle of Alderaanian wine." He popped off the top and began pouring. Ren was stoic, silent as a glass was set at his place. After finishing with pouring, the waiter asked for their orders.

“I’ll have the lambro shark this time,” said Hux. He looked at Ren to see if there was any reaction. There wasn’t.

“I haven’t decided yet,” said Ren.

After the waiter departed, Hux tried to raise his glass but noticed that Ren wasn’t paying any attention to him. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry. I know you...really tried but...I don’t want this.” He motioned to the wine.

“That’s fine,” said Hux, “I’ll have him take it away.”

“No, don’t,” said Ren, “But I don’t know if I can eat now. I don't know...”

Hux called the waiter anyway. “Take away the wine.”

The waiter turned to Ren. “Sir, if you would like a suggestion, tonight we have a lovely…”

“No,” said Ren.

The waiter nodded and began removing the wine.

Ren stood up. “I can’t eat.” With the way he was staring downward, his hair fell into his face and he made no effort to fix it.

Hux got up. “Are you leaving?”

He was. Hux pursued him out of the restaurant. The waiter watched, holding a wine glass, and sneaked a sip as they disappeared from view.

~

Ren refused to answer Hux’s questions. Hux walked silently alongside him, putting on his gloves as he walked. He recognized that they were on the path to Ren’s room and decided he would stay as long as Ren never yelled for him to go. When they reached the room, Hux anticipated that this was the moment he’d be turned away.

Ren opened the door, waited a moment, and then held it open. Hux followed.

The blinds were open and they could see a magenta sunset casting its color over the landscape. Everything in the room was tinted by that hue. Ren turned his head toward Hux - the magenta covered half of his face with the other half in shadow. He said, motioning to Hux's hands, “I went to a dark place as I was searching for those.”

Hux removed his gloves and shoved them into his coat pocket. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“There’s no need for you to be sorry,” said Ren. He used the force to close the blinds. The blinds were swinging against each other, clacking. “Everything changes, nothing changes - depending on how I look at it - and time is…” There was a sliver of magenta shining through a gap in the blinds. Ren paused as he tossed the blinds around again with his power.

“Time is what?” asked Hux.

“Who do you think you are?” asked Ren, “What if what you think is entirely different than what everyone else thinks? Who are you?” Ren’s left eye twitched on the word “who”.

“I’m a general...and everyone knows that.” The blinds were still swaying and crashing into each other as Hux spoke.

Ren lowered his hand as he spoke, “What kind of person do you think you are?”

“I think I’m...strict and...a person who enjoys order and...everything in its right place, at the right time but, every once in a while, I...”

Ren cut him off. “Nevermind.” His eye twitched again.

Hux shook his head. “Ren, where are you going with this?”

“I don’t know.” Blood oozed out of Ren’s nostrils. As the blood oozed over his chin and dripped onto his boots, Hux was horrified but had no time to express it before Ren fell onto the floor clutching at his head. 

“Ren? Ren, what's wrong?” Hux hurried onto the floor and crawled to Ren. He turned him over. Ren was still clutching his head and his eyes were pressed shut. Objects began falling off shelves. Two vases broke into pieces - one so nearby that some of the shards ended up scattered over Hux's back and crashed to the floor as he moved to comfort Ren. Ren passed out and his body went limp. Hux felt for a pulse...it was weak but it was there. He hugged Ren and reached for his comlink. “We need a medical droid at Ren’s room and emergency services. It’s an emergency!”

Hux kept his hand pressed into Ren’s wrist, wanting to feel his continued pulse to make sure it wouldn’t stop. He focused his eyes on Ren’s face, memorizing every aspect in case it was the last time he saw him alive - but his vision was blurring from the tears.

When emergency services arrived, he reluctantly left Ren's side to open the door.


	5. The Fifth Date

Hux paced in the waiting room. Ren’s assistant was present and already tried to get Hux to sit in a chair to no avail. “General,” she said, “Would you like me to bring you anything?”

“Absolutely not. Be quiet, please. I’m thinking.” Hux was reviewing every detail that led to the event: Ren’s description of his search for the gloves, Ren’s reaction at dinner, the strong twitch of his eye, and the blood. He jumped from conclusion to conclusion. He pondered, “The encounters with the death stick dealers...what if he used death sticks? Why would he do that? No, he doesn’t seem like the type...so, what if it’s a medical issue that was exasperated by recent strain...what if...”

A medical officer entered the room. “I’m here to report, sir.”

“What is it?”

“He was suffering from extreme exhaustion but I expect him to make a swift recovery. He’s awake now and asked for you to report to him.”

When Hux entered the room, Ren was sitting up with his back supported by a large pillow and a large tray of food set at his front. “This food is disgusting,” Ren said, “It’s nothing like our restaurant.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted.”

“It has to be more than exhaustion.” Hux made his way toward Ren.

“It is, yeah, I’ve been doing tricks on everyone to get them to leave me alone and let me leave.”

Hux began to give Ren a hug. His elbow accidently dipped into an unknown sauce in the process but he didn’t notice because he was so focused on Ren and showering him with kisses. 

Ren’s hand brushed against Hux’s elbow. “Your elbow got into my food,” he said as Hux kissed his cheek.

Hux looked at his sleeve. “Oh, that’s...unfortunate.” He wiped his elbow with his hand and held the sauce smeared hand to Ren’s mouth. “Do you still want it?”

“No, no.” Ren smiled finally. “That’s the worst thing on this tray. It tastes like Wookie snot.”

“How do you know what Wookie snot tastes like?”

“Don’t ask me that.”

Hux noticed a sink on the left side of the room and went to wash his hand. As the warm water cleansed him, he told Ren he was glad to see him feeling better. “But what was it? What happened to you?”

“I was in the field alone, in the middle of the search for your gloves...I had a vision of the future that was so strong that I was...there. I became my future self, in the middle of a battle, my saber was pulled from my hand...and thrown off a cliff. I was trying to use the force...to hold back...someone...I felt a pain, as if my skull was breaking into pieces. I lost consciousness. I..." He stopped.

Hux waited but, when Ren didn't finish, he asked, “What? Who were you fighting? ...Rey?”

“No, not her.”

“Who was it?”

“I don’t know who…”

“I don’t want that to happen. I won’t allow it.”

“I don’t think...there was anything you could do...at any time.”

“What?”

“Stop. I don’t want to think of it. I want to be here with you, have fun with you, go on another date with you before anyone tries to break our peace. I need this time with you.”

“All right...what do you want for our fifth date? We need to take it easy so you can heal.”

“A nice date at home in your room. I haven’t been to your room.”

“Well, it’s not much of a home," Hux crossed his arms. "But, if you insist, I’ll take you there.”

Hux could have had any of the best rooms at the hotel but he specifically requested that the room come with no large windows. Only the lower quality rooms came with that feature so staff, communicating through the officer booking the reservations, tried to convince Hux to take another room. Hux insisted and, unbeknownst to him, hotel staff scrambled to make his room as nice as possible before the First Order’s arrival, swapping out furniture and placing new artwork to boost the interior.

Still, Hux could tell his room wasn’t up to par and wondered whether Ren would regret his choice for their fifth date. As they entered the room together, Hux told him, “I asked for this room and it’s small. We can go to your room, if you’d like, I should have warned you when you brought up the idea.”

“It has enough room for what I want to do,” said Ren.

“What is that?” asked Hux.

Ren put his arm around Hux. “Sit on the couch with you.”

They snuggled on the couch together. Ren tried to rest his head on Hux’s chest. Hux hesitated but allowed him and patted the back of Ren’s head, then ran his fingers through his hair - now a bit greasy but soft. Ren closed his tired, slightly bruised looking eyes. In minutes, he was breathing deeply and fell asleep. Hux, fully alert, looked at Ren - his mouth was slightly open; a trickle of drool made its way onto Hux’s uniform. Hux sighed and tried to close his eyes. He fixated on Ren’s breathing, how pleasant the sound of it was to him and, in time, it lulled him to a dream - a vision of himself on that cliff’s edge with Ren, then they fell over it, and landed together on a cloud. On that cloud, there was a golden box. Ren held the lid on the left and Hux held it on the right. They opened it together and inside there was a blue egg. They picked it up and discovered that it was only a shell. It dissolved. They fell through the cloud to another cloud and to another…

Hux’s eyes opened. Ren was still asleep. Now he was snoring heavily onto Hux’s chest. Hux slowly slipped out from under Ren, careful not to wake him.

In the meantime, he drank tea, read, and soon it was morning. He had appointments with officials and various members of the First Order. It was the beginning of the end to the fun, carefree time they’d been having on this planet. It was the second to last day they’d spend there. 

When he returned to his room, Ren was sleeping. He was alarmed at first and checked him - pulse was fine, breathing was fine, and he’d changed his sleeping position. So, Hux figured that Ren was only recovering.

He undressed and put on his robe - his famous “uniform of robes” robe - and tied it tightly. A moment later, there was a groan behind him.

“Good morning,” Ren said with a scratchy voice.

“It’s the evening. You’ve been sleeping for 20 hours. Are you feeling any better?”

“Better,” he said. He stretched his arms and sat up. “I need a shower…”

Hux showed Ren his shower and handed him a towel. Ren emerged from the bathroom as Hux was reading again. Ren held the towel around his waist. He went to the hotel’s closet and opened it to find a row of Hux’s uniforms, coats, in multiples, perfectly pressed, along with an extra pair of gloves. 

“Looks like I didn’t need to search for those gloves.” Ren then found the hotel’s robe at the end of the closet and took it. He dropped his towel to the ground.

Hux’s eyes wandered from what he was reading and settled on the sight of Ren’s ass. Ren neglected to put on the robe immediately. Instead, he stood for a moment, still admiring Hux’s collection of uniforms.

“Are you trying to turn me on right now?”

“Maybe,” said Ren. He finally put his arms through the robe but didn’t close it. He walked to the couch where Hux was sitting, leaned over, and kissed him on the forehead. After a moment, he moved to kiss Hux’s lips.

“I never got to tell you,” Hux explained, “the wine wasn’t my only gift for you that night.” But, as soon as he mentioned it, he felt sick in his stomach.

Ren was studying him intensely, as if he wanted to rip the surprise out from Hux’s mind before it could be told. “Please,” said Ren, “What is it?”

“Look down,” said Hux.

Ren looked down to find the obvious bulge. He bit his lip and reached down to stroke over the crotch of Hux’s pants. “I thought we were going to pick it out together.”

Hux noticed Ren getting harder. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“I like this more...the mystery of it,” said Ren, “What’s Hux’s dick like? And what’ll it be like when he fucks me with it?”

“Temporary dick,” Hux frowned a little. Snap ons couldn’t be worn 24/7 without experiencing extreme soreness and, since most who want a 24/7 penis would opt for a mechnopenis, requiring an actual procedure, nobody bothered to improve upon snap ons. Trans men weren’t the target market for them. When Hux visited the shop, done up in a ridiculous disguise of a captain’s uniform featuring a fake moustache, he claimed he was purchasing it for his “wife”. 

“Next time you come in, the disguise won’t be necessary,” said the employee as he processed the purchase, “We maintain strict privacy standards and frankly I do not care what you do with your wife.”

Hux scurried out of the shop, placing the black velvet bag into an inner pocket on the top of the uniform as he hurried to a restroom to try it on. When he stepped into the restroom, he noticed that half of his moustache had peeled off his upper lip, revealing the slight ginger stubble beneath. He ripped the rest off and threw it into a trash hole.

Alone in the restroom and behind a grimy stall door, he tried on the snap on and was astounded by how natural it looked and felt, especially how it felt. As he stroked himself, he imagined being with Kylo Ren that night - the night of their fourth date.

Then - the night of their fifth date - the moment that Ren was stroking him over his pants, looking into his eyes - the nervousness was seizing him. 

Ren held Hux’s bulge with his palm and said, “This is yours. Maybe you have to take it on and off, maybe it’ll break sometime. But you feel through it, you make me feel with it. That’s an extension of you - that’s part of you and your and our experience. And…”

“And? That’s true but…”

Ren drew Hux close to kiss him on the lips. He must have kissed him six times in a row, slowly, passionately, while maintaining his stroke. He paused to speak. “Hush,” he said, “Be in this moment with me. Just be here.” He unzipped Hux’s pants.

“I keep thinking of the future - how I want this to last. But nothing lasts,” Hux said between kisses, “Or the past - how far I want to be from it. But it’s always there.”

Ren stopped. “The past isn’t there. You know, it's never going to be perfect." Ren’s hands slipped to the waist of Hux’s pants. He pulled them down. Hux reflexively closed his eyes and tensed up. Ren placed his hand on Hux's thigh. "But we can choose to stick with each other."

“I’m so afraid,” Hux said.

Ren turned his attention to Hux’s face, held a hand to his cheek. “We don’t have to do this now.”

Hux bent forward and snuggled into Ren’s chest. They remained there, quiet, until they decided to go to sleep. Hux fell asleep that night in Ren’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> * H.D.S. is the standard hormone therapy in the galaxy. A biomechanical device is injected under the skin as needed (typically once a decade) to regulate the hormones in line with the individual's gender identity.


End file.
